...And Then Everything Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Above: Bangalore's International Airport...you should see what goes on INSIDE.

So...Bangalore...it's beautiful, oddly decadent in a Jungle Book way, and completely chaotic and smelly. There are signs that say "Obey Traffic Laws" but apparently there are no traffic laws - cars just pile up behind each other and fill in empty spaces and honk. Incessant honking.

The flights sucked - 20 hours on two planes is no way to travel. I knew I was in hell when I had to view a Hillary Duff movie over Greenland. But I had some legroom on that flight thank god, b/c there was none from Frankfurt to Bangalore, and before I boarded I met some really weird musician dude from Portland who kept popping over and chatting during the flight, so that was semi-interesting. He was on his way to Nice to - get this - open for Hall and Oates. Um, yeah. I kept thinking of this record store in Portland that has old H&O vinyl...we love to pop in there and mock their pink pants and man-makeup on their (not so) ambiguously gay album covers.

Anyhoo, so the Frankfurt airport was completely weird, too. I was like "are we in east berlin?" because everyone was really quiet and gave us dirty sideways glances. We had a beer in this strange airport bar with a bad vibe and decided to not blend in. Lots of Russians in the airport, too, and for some reason German denim is all from the Gotti Collection - never seen so much bleaching or sequins in my life. Oh, and the German flight attendants on Lufthansa are so mechanical and EFFICIENT. They move through the cabin so quickly and in tandem. The only time I saw them smile was when they wheeled the duty-free carts through...all these boxes of cigarettes with huge labels that say SMOKING KILLS and SMOKERS DIE YOUNG and they're suddenly smiling and making eye contact. Good stuff. Oh, and they whisper on the intercom, and it's incredibly disturbing to hear German come through a loudspeaker like that. I'm just saying.

What else? I'm so tired I can barely see...or think. Anyway, yes, this is a beautiful city - there are old palaces stuck in between falling-down 20-story apartments and big, shiny IBM and HP buildings. the trees are huge and canopy over the roads, and it's all so lush, but also kinda broke-down. Everything is crumbling, even the new stuff seems to be worn. Plus it's filthy - and people are barefoot in the street. Ack! OH, and it smells exactly like you imagine it would - a mix of porta-potty, burned hair, exhaust, bad cologne, BO and Indian food.

Oh, and when we got into the Bangalore airport they make all the drivers wait outside, so when you step out of customs you are greeted by a SEA of Indian men, all jammed behind barricades, holding up signs for passengers. I wish I had video of it...

Anyhoo, right now i'm going to sneak off with a girl from the office to have a smoke on the balcony behind the building. It overlooks some really slummy apartment buildings and of course, there's the constant honking from the street. How does anyone get any work done?