...And Then Everything Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Or, as the Puppy calls the stuff: "End of Times." Yep, so last night I was drunk and happy that we drank Early Times - a whisky that isn't even sold in bars. It's a drink for has-beens, those on the verge of suicide through booze, and men who drink liquor out of paper bags in the park. So why do I get such a kick out of A) drinking it with the Puppy and B) pulling up to a drive-thru liquor store looking all cute in my BMW and asking for Early Times??? I blame Walker Percy.

He wrote this book called "Love in the Ruins" where the main character drank Early Times and 7-Up - mostly because he thought it would be the end of times...I bought a bottle with the EH as a joke - just b/c of the book - and it lingered in my cabinet until the Puppy charmed his way back into my life. Or as he might put it, "Let me hang out with him again." Ha.

Anyhoo, here's a tip: only drink Early Times with good friends, as it brings out those kind of moments where you want to philosophize...but then you can't think of the words. So it's a lot of "hold on, I need to tell you something" and then you have nothing to impart.

And obviously, along with cigarettes (which I did not give up...yet) I have to put a kibosh on my drinking. I just did like 5 grafs on Early Times...if that isn't a red flag I don't know what else would be. I'll start tomorrow. Go dry next week. Tonight I'm supposed to go out with K and her friend from Chicago, and damn if I don't need to do it. (Of course, I feel worked and it's only 11 a.m.) But I need to find a guy and make out with him. ...um, does that happen, btw? I mean, I haven't set a goal for schmeckin and vowed to achieve it since I was in college.

Omg...am I totally going to be screwed in the "real" world? When I'm on my own and single - and I have to mingle? It's fairly obvious that I'm - at the very least - out of practice.

Hey - do me a favor would you? Wish me luck.