...And Then Everything Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

Now playing...Gomez, "Split the Difference," and Athlete, "Vehicles and Animals." I Heart Ear-Candy.

So last night I went to Donovan's with my parents for a 58th-birthday steak dinner for me mum. If anyone is from San Diego they'll know how otherwordly this restaurant can be. Aside from the spectacularly good food (I can't believe I was a vegetarian for 8 years...or rather, I'm so happy to have discovered beef), Donovan's attracts a rarefied clientele. A clientele that is close to death. Apparently, the goal is to have one fantabulous meal (and a huge martini, rocks) before you knock on heaven's door. I haven't seen so many white-haired people in one place since I visited the hospital in Sun City. All these old men wander around, too, wearing sport coats, holding drinks in their wizened little hands. And their wives pile on the sweater sets and pearls and flirt with the waitstaff. Oh, and there are Cougars, too!

In fact, the Proto-Coug sat directly behind my mother, and I had the pleasure (I think) of enjoying her getup for the better part of an hour. She had white spiked hair with a dark brown undertone - it was very short - very Brigitte Nielsen when she wakes up. Her skin was just as leathery, too, and possibly spray-tanned. Her ensemble consisted of a tight black tank top and (I shite you not) acid-washed jeans. Here are all these people in their conservative clothes and there was this woman... When she got up her shirt tugged halfway up her back, exposing the oldest flesh I've seen in months... Haven't seen anyone with that kind of loose skin since they closed my Ghetto Gym. (That place was rife with saggy old women cavorting nude in the locker room. You haven't lived until you've seen Grandma Moses - butt nekkid - blow-drying her hair. Arms akimbo. OY.)

Anyhoo, so that was that. But for this week, Happiness Is...getting loaded on filthy Grey Goose martoonis while enjoying a steak dinner with Mom and Dad.

So I have spent the last 5 nights alone, since I've been spending so much time with my other friends. The Puppy is on hiatus - I was overwhelmed and neglecting myself, let alone K, N and Just Joe. And my family. As much as I adore Pup Time, I have to say that even more, I like having my house to myself. He suggested moving in here before we depart for the Promised Land...I don't think I like that idea so much. I only have one bathroom...it could be deadly...

And my mom has been having some strange digestive problems (stomach clenching, passing out) and finally went to the doctor - her iron is low, her hemoglobin is low, her thyroid is low. They say it could be bone cancer, internal bleeding or menopause. Jeezus. If something is amiss with her health there's no way I can leave this blood-sucking town. I'll never forgive myself if she's sick and I'm off cavorting around the Pacific Northwest and then something happens to her. Oh, Arizona, don't let anything happen to her. And let go your prickly grip from this poor girl's legs...she wants to fly, be freeeeee!

// posted by Alisa @ 7:33 AM