1.11.2005
Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss
I have high hopes for 2005 - did not have those hopes for 2004, and was richly rewarded. But so far (knock wood) things are swell in the New Year. I'm only 11 days in and I have the house in my name, a decent relationship with the EH, a job prospect in Portland and a roommate (hopefully) waiting for me upon my arrival in the Promised Land.
Good times!
So my beloved Lisa in Japan and I exchanged some emails today about the blog ("does the EH know you blog about him - and that you're mean?") ... and I was at the Puppy's house last night when his ex-girlfriend called. "The One Who Got Away" - she drunk-dialed him while we were watching SLC Punk and he was wrecked. Sigh. All the emotion of the last week or so, coupled with the recent tales of Love Gone Awry, made me realize that in my own life I've made some poor decisions. Among them - skipping a parent-sponsored trip to Budapest, Prague and Vienna back in 1998, and in 2001, getting hitched. I mean, I wasn't thinking straight when I got married. I know this because the whole time I didn't want to do it, but I went through with it anyway. It felt somewhat like an arranged marriage - my parents loved the EH, and he loved them. I felt like I was giving him something, delivering him. Sick, huh? The EH was just so tender and sweet...he seemed like a lost soul. And then I shit on him. ...I've heard that arranged marriages usually work out pretty well for people, btw. Ha.
Now he's trying to find himself, and even though technically he's not too old for anything (except maybe dating 17-year-olds, eating Otter Pops and calling his shorts "short pants"), I feel like - just for the sake of mental well-being - he should know by now what he wants out of life. I feel sad for him sometimes. It's like as the marriage fell apart, so did the EH. He hinged a big part of his sense of self on me, and meanwhile, I felt like he was dragging me down. Sigh.
Right now I'm burning CDs for some pals, trying to get over the angst. Having a Pugapalooza here Saturday night - K is bringing her pug (the voluptuous and righteous Jade), Just Joe is bringing his famous Italian pasta with chickpeas, N is bringing homemade salsa. It will be lovely and mellow. And in exchange for hauling their cookies all the way (ha ha) to Central Phoenix, I'm sending them home with some good music.
Seems like the right thing to do. And you know I'm all about that.
Good times!
So my beloved Lisa in Japan and I exchanged some emails today about the blog ("does the EH know you blog about him - and that you're mean?") ... and I was at the Puppy's house last night when his ex-girlfriend called. "The One Who Got Away" - she drunk-dialed him while we were watching SLC Punk and he was wrecked. Sigh. All the emotion of the last week or so, coupled with the recent tales of Love Gone Awry, made me realize that in my own life I've made some poor decisions. Among them - skipping a parent-sponsored trip to Budapest, Prague and Vienna back in 1998, and in 2001, getting hitched. I mean, I wasn't thinking straight when I got married. I know this because the whole time I didn't want to do it, but I went through with it anyway. It felt somewhat like an arranged marriage - my parents loved the EH, and he loved them. I felt like I was giving him something, delivering him. Sick, huh? The EH was just so tender and sweet...he seemed like a lost soul. And then I shit on him. ...I've heard that arranged marriages usually work out pretty well for people, btw. Ha.
Now he's trying to find himself, and even though technically he's not too old for anything (except maybe dating 17-year-olds, eating Otter Pops and calling his shorts "short pants"), I feel like - just for the sake of mental well-being - he should know by now what he wants out of life. I feel sad for him sometimes. It's like as the marriage fell apart, so did the EH. He hinged a big part of his sense of self on me, and meanwhile, I felt like he was dragging me down. Sigh.
Right now I'm burning CDs for some pals, trying to get over the angst. Having a Pugapalooza here Saturday night - K is bringing her pug (the voluptuous and righteous Jade), Just Joe is bringing his famous Italian pasta with chickpeas, N is bringing homemade salsa. It will be lovely and mellow. And in exchange for hauling their cookies all the way (ha ha) to Central Phoenix, I'm sending them home with some good music.
Seems like the right thing to do. And you know I'm all about that.
