The exciting tale of a 33-year-old editrix with an estranged husband, an intensifying dependence on Parliament Lights, Thai curry, her parents' washing machine and watching Suzanne Somers on HSN. (Between Suzanne's ever-changing facial features and her god-awful merch, I'm hooked like a trout, baby.)
Now, the prerequisite low-rise hoochie jeans. So no more shopping at Charlotte Russe and pretending it's for your daughter! This slimming pair is just low enough to distract that dude's attention away from your freakishly stretched face and down to your, um, "good parts."
I wore vests at one time in my life. Just thought I should get that out there. It was in the early 90s, and I thought they made my boobs look smaller. It was a mistake. I can see that now.
