12.17.2004
Confusion Reigns...Supreme
For one moment I rescinded my solemn vow and I called the Puppy first – I NEVER call him – he always calls me – and I asked about going to the Swizzle Inn. I needed a barstool and a stiff drink. He said he was too tired. Then he called back 5 minutes later and said “be there in 10.”
Anyhoo, we went to the Swiz and he was in this mood where he wanted to talk big picture about his life and his kid and relationships and his future. He was going on and on about how he has a black heart and he ruins relationships and how things don’t work out long-term between men and women…it was really something. I didn’t even talk about myself – he was on a roll. (The next morning – after calling me twice by 8:30 a.m. – he told me that usually he drinks alone when he’s in that kind of mood – oof.)
But that night I found out that I made his Christmas list. I felt so flattered, but then he mocked me about something so it totally made me laugh and ruined the moment. He’s good like that – keeping it on the friendship tip – he throws me something warm and wonderful and then hits me with a joke.
So after three drinks (our limit) he says “you have to follow me home” and I said no, but he said he’d throw a tantrum, so I obliged him. Once we got to his place he said “you have to come in” and of course I did. Then we proceeded to listen to music for another 2 hours…and then I went home around 11.
The weirdest part about his Swizzle speech was that he gave it once before – about two weeks after we first met. We met Superbowl Sunday at his cousin’s house, and we hit it off right away. I heard from his cousin that he “totally loved me” and would want to see me if I was single and since I liked him so much, I tried unsuccessfully to set him up with a friend of mine – they didn’t hit it off, but the Puppy and I spent the entire night talking only to each other, and then staying up late after the EH had gone to bed. We were naughty. But it was nice. The next Monday, he called me at work and invited me to lunch. It turned into a liquid lunch where he told me he talked to his uncle about me, and said he decided that he would have to wait until my divorce to “see” me – didn’t want to get involved with a married girl. That lunch was followed by three months of occasionally getting drunk and making out and then semi-regretting it. And that was topped off by this one night where the speech was tailored specifically to me. Wednesday night was more of a generalization.
The thing is that now, since we’ve clearly established that we’re Just Friends, I didn’t know if Wednesday night’s rerun was for my benefit, or if I just had the strange luck to be there when he needed to get all that kind of “life overview” stuff off his chest.
And the little shite can be so endearing – I swear I wanted to wrap my arms around him and just squeeze about 50 times during all of this. At one point we talked about our friendship and I told him that I gave him a second chance because he's really a good person – despite what he thinks – and that he doesn't give himself enough credit. I said, “We wouldn’t be sitting here now if you were a piece of shit.” (I am so warm when I wanna be, huh?) I told him he'd miss me much more than I would miss him if we were to part again, to which he agreed. And I said, "don't make it heavy - just entertain me" and he goes "that's what I am - I'm your clown" and hung his head. Oh my GAWD, it was so nuts!!!
Help me.
If this kid isn’t in love with me then I have no idea what’s going on.
Thankfully, he's skiing this weekend, so both of us have a breather. I'm going to the EH's graduation party tonight with L - we're hitting a leather gay bar afterward for karaoke. Just because our lives can't get any weirder. And manana it's off to an xmas party held by my friend Chadley, whose friends are all married meatheads who play ice hockey. I am not really looking forward to either of these events.
Meanwhile, I was going to hit the gym and the post office and the shoe repair shop (I walk violently, I think, since I keep knocking the little black rubber parts off my spike heels) but instead this guy I work with suggested that the group have our 4:00 meeting over margaritas. Sigh...twist it, people...twist my arm. Damn you...damn...damn...damn!
Anyhoo, we went to the Swiz and he was in this mood where he wanted to talk big picture about his life and his kid and relationships and his future. He was going on and on about how he has a black heart and he ruins relationships and how things don’t work out long-term between men and women…it was really something. I didn’t even talk about myself – he was on a roll. (The next morning – after calling me twice by 8:30 a.m. – he told me that usually he drinks alone when he’s in that kind of mood – oof.)
But that night I found out that I made his Christmas list. I felt so flattered, but then he mocked me about something so it totally made me laugh and ruined the moment. He’s good like that – keeping it on the friendship tip – he throws me something warm and wonderful and then hits me with a joke.
So after three drinks (our limit) he says “you have to follow me home” and I said no, but he said he’d throw a tantrum, so I obliged him. Once we got to his place he said “you have to come in” and of course I did. Then we proceeded to listen to music for another 2 hours…and then I went home around 11.
The weirdest part about his Swizzle speech was that he gave it once before – about two weeks after we first met. We met Superbowl Sunday at his cousin’s house, and we hit it off right away. I heard from his cousin that he “totally loved me” and would want to see me if I was single and since I liked him so much, I tried unsuccessfully to set him up with a friend of mine – they didn’t hit it off, but the Puppy and I spent the entire night talking only to each other, and then staying up late after the EH had gone to bed. We were naughty. But it was nice. The next Monday, he called me at work and invited me to lunch. It turned into a liquid lunch where he told me he talked to his uncle about me, and said he decided that he would have to wait until my divorce to “see” me – didn’t want to get involved with a married girl. That lunch was followed by three months of occasionally getting drunk and making out and then semi-regretting it. And that was topped off by this one night where the speech was tailored specifically to me. Wednesday night was more of a generalization.
The thing is that now, since we’ve clearly established that we’re Just Friends, I didn’t know if Wednesday night’s rerun was for my benefit, or if I just had the strange luck to be there when he needed to get all that kind of “life overview” stuff off his chest.
And the little shite can be so endearing – I swear I wanted to wrap my arms around him and just squeeze about 50 times during all of this. At one point we talked about our friendship and I told him that I gave him a second chance because he's really a good person – despite what he thinks – and that he doesn't give himself enough credit. I said, “We wouldn’t be sitting here now if you were a piece of shit.” (I am so warm when I wanna be, huh?) I told him he'd miss me much more than I would miss him if we were to part again, to which he agreed. And I said, "don't make it heavy - just entertain me" and he goes "that's what I am - I'm your clown" and hung his head. Oh my GAWD, it was so nuts!!!
Help me.
If this kid isn’t in love with me then I have no idea what’s going on.
Thankfully, he's skiing this weekend, so both of us have a breather. I'm going to the EH's graduation party tonight with L - we're hitting a leather gay bar afterward for karaoke. Just because our lives can't get any weirder. And manana it's off to an xmas party held by my friend Chadley, whose friends are all married meatheads who play ice hockey. I am not really looking forward to either of these events.
Meanwhile, I was going to hit the gym and the post office and the shoe repair shop (I walk violently, I think, since I keep knocking the little black rubber parts off my spike heels) but instead this guy I work with suggested that the group have our 4:00 meeting over margaritas. Sigh...twist it, people...twist my arm. Damn you...damn...damn...damn!
