11.26.2004
The Most Fucked-Up Anecdote That I Have Ever Heard
So it's Thanksgiving at my parents' house. There's always a delicious spread and a lot of people. Some for drinks, some for dinner, some for dessert. There are also the mainstays - friends who come in from out of town and spend the night. One of these is "R" who builds light planes, does a lot of hiking, etc. He retired early and now just does what he pleases while his wife - who's with a symphony - travels. It's lovely. He's a very nice man.
But he's also a Vietnam vet - a real Rambo type who was doing the kind of mind-fucking missions that he still won't talk about because they were so twisted and horrifying. And this Thanksgiving, before dinner, somebody asked "How do you say 'I don't know in French?'" And he said, "I know how to say it in Vietnamese." So he did, and then I asked, "What other Vietnamese phrases do you know?" And then I heard the most fucked-up anecdote I've ever heard in my life.
About 30 years ago, R was in an elevator in a hospital, and a nurse was trying to control two very rowdy young boys. She was having no success and R realized the boys were speaking Vietnamese. He racked his brain for something to say to them to get them to behave, and realized that he didn't know any "friendly" phrases. But he did know one that might work. He uttered it, and the boys were instantly silenced. The nurse asked, "What did you say to them?" He responded, "You don't want to know."
It was this: "Be quiet or I'll slit your throat."
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!
And now for the "good" news: Just had breakfast with the EH. I've been referring to him as "EH" because he was my estranged husband. Now "EH" will come to mean "ex-husband," as we agreed today on basic terms for the divorce and will be starting the process in the next few days.
There is no animosity between us - on the contrary, still a lot of love. We're just too different to make our marriage work. Because we've been living apart since March, it feels like a regular breakup - there's just more paperwork. I'd say that even in our divorce state, we've got more interest in and love for each other than most couples we know. When I look at it objectively, the whole situation seems very, very sad, but thank God, it's also liberating because we're able to pick up and move forward without losing any ground. Nobody has fallen apart, we're not angry with one another, and we've certainly learned a lot.
And here's some actual good news: He's moving back to the condo we own, and I'm getting the house. So I'll soon be knee-deep in re-fi whatnot (we'll get that in order before Le Divorce, natch, while our credit is still intact), but by Feb. 1 I should be safely ensconced in a place of my own. So it's goodbye, continental apartment! Adios, Boom Boom Bass Party! We've had some good times, but I'm ready to move on.
But he's also a Vietnam vet - a real Rambo type who was doing the kind of mind-fucking missions that he still won't talk about because they were so twisted and horrifying. And this Thanksgiving, before dinner, somebody asked "How do you say 'I don't know in French?'" And he said, "I know how to say it in Vietnamese." So he did, and then I asked, "What other Vietnamese phrases do you know?" And then I heard the most fucked-up anecdote I've ever heard in my life.
About 30 years ago, R was in an elevator in a hospital, and a nurse was trying to control two very rowdy young boys. She was having no success and R realized the boys were speaking Vietnamese. He racked his brain for something to say to them to get them to behave, and realized that he didn't know any "friendly" phrases. But he did know one that might work. He uttered it, and the boys were instantly silenced. The nurse asked, "What did you say to them?" He responded, "You don't want to know."
It was this: "Be quiet or I'll slit your throat."
Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!
And now for the "good" news: Just had breakfast with the EH. I've been referring to him as "EH" because he was my estranged husband. Now "EH" will come to mean "ex-husband," as we agreed today on basic terms for the divorce and will be starting the process in the next few days.
There is no animosity between us - on the contrary, still a lot of love. We're just too different to make our marriage work. Because we've been living apart since March, it feels like a regular breakup - there's just more paperwork. I'd say that even in our divorce state, we've got more interest in and love for each other than most couples we know. When I look at it objectively, the whole situation seems very, very sad, but thank God, it's also liberating because we're able to pick up and move forward without losing any ground. Nobody has fallen apart, we're not angry with one another, and we've certainly learned a lot.
And here's some actual good news: He's moving back to the condo we own, and I'm getting the house. So I'll soon be knee-deep in re-fi whatnot (we'll get that in order before Le Divorce, natch, while our credit is still intact), but by Feb. 1 I should be safely ensconced in a place of my own. So it's goodbye, continental apartment! Adios, Boom Boom Bass Party! We've had some good times, but I'm ready to move on.
Tell Me About It:
<< Home
Hi there! I just found you a couple of days ago and I thought I'd say hi and agree that is a strange story - funny but strange lol.
It's good stuff, isn't it? A heartwarming holiday tale. And so happy to hear from you, btw. As much as I love blogging, I love getting comments even more!
Sorry to hear that it's actually going to come to divorce but I know how this works as I've just done that myself. I myself am going for the "Ex of the Year" award having helped the ex and his new love pack, move and babysat her kids. Always better if you can be friends. Btw, "I don't know" in french is "je ne sais pas" - hehehehe all that high school french FINALLY pays off.
hilarious!! i only remember words from three years of spanish that i would never actually use, like jump, cat, and bored.
my situation with my soon to be ex husband is exactly like yours. no one can really understand why i'm not pissed and we're not arguing over who gets what and the details of the divorce. there comes a time where you just have to decide what's best for you and go on from there.
my situation with my soon to be ex husband is exactly like yours. no one can really understand why i'm not pissed and we're not arguing over who gets what and the details of the divorce. there comes a time where you just have to decide what's best for you and go on from there.
Oh honey, and you're still so young! What a blessing to have learned that lesson. I feel like a rock star for being so diplomatic. It has a lot to do with biting my tongue, and some to do with just knowing that at some point you have to assess the new situation and let the past just be the past. Ending up as friends is bittersweet, but thankfully, it's usually more sweet than bitter.
Post a Comment
<< Home
