10.08.2004
Old Men Rock
Yes, another entry that will go unread by the world at large. This is turning out to be so cathartic, however, that Mama don't really care! (i'm so ghetto. I'm going to call Kimora Lee Simmons and see if she can hang after work. We'll go shopping.)
So, another jet-set night for little ole me. I hit this swank and somewhat hidden neighborhood bar with my girlfriend M. Bay breezes were drunk and cigarettes were smoked as we lapped up the swank atmosphere. She, of course, looked adorable. She weighs like 10 ounces and carries a tiny purse. I weigh much, much more - thanks to my Effexor, which basically acted in my body like Jerry Lewis on cortisone - and carry a handbag. It's official - I have become an old woman. So, I'm all dressed up (har) in my white Faconnable men's shirt, levis, and some adorable pumps (which were hidden under the bar all night - what a shame!) and not wearing my wedding ring (haven't for months) and thinking now, this would be a decent place to meet a guy. It's not one of those underage and over-surgeried Scottsdale meat markets where even the guys have plastic. Nothing is creepier than a 32-year-old man with Botox. Ack! Unfortunately, other than a few disgustingly happy-looking couples looking meaningfully into each other's eyes and taking up all the good leather sofa spots, the place was full of old men. Rich old men, though. I've never seen so many porsche cayennes in one place. I think M and I should go back and snag ourselves some Sugar Granddaddies.
Especially since I am now officially swearing off all men younger than myself. I had a wonderfully amusing 28-year-old puppy for a while. Met him on Superbowl Sunday and had a fun ride until his narcissism got the best of him and he cut me loose one confusing and heated Friday afternoon. Sigh. I miss him, but of course I would never actually tell him. I tried a few times to make overtures but he wound up pulling a stunt so bizarre that there's no way i could befriend him again. Unless he calls me and begs forgiveness, and then shows up with a bottle of vodka, a bottle of tonic and a lime in his teeth. ...and a take-out dinner wouldn't hurt. Currently my cupboard is bare.
These are the items in my fridge:
1 bottle Arrowhead mountain spring water
1 box of strawberries
1 carton of vanilla rice milk
1 bag of prunes (delish! try them.)
1 bottle tonic
1 bottle 7-Up
40 assorted condiments. Which of course will come sooo in handy for all the meals I CANNOT COOK.
Isn't life grand?
So, another jet-set night for little ole me. I hit this swank and somewhat hidden neighborhood bar with my girlfriend M. Bay breezes were drunk and cigarettes were smoked as we lapped up the swank atmosphere. She, of course, looked adorable. She weighs like 10 ounces and carries a tiny purse. I weigh much, much more - thanks to my Effexor, which basically acted in my body like Jerry Lewis on cortisone - and carry a handbag. It's official - I have become an old woman. So, I'm all dressed up (har) in my white Faconnable men's shirt, levis, and some adorable pumps (which were hidden under the bar all night - what a shame!) and not wearing my wedding ring (haven't for months) and thinking now, this would be a decent place to meet a guy. It's not one of those underage and over-surgeried Scottsdale meat markets where even the guys have plastic. Nothing is creepier than a 32-year-old man with Botox. Ack! Unfortunately, other than a few disgustingly happy-looking couples looking meaningfully into each other's eyes and taking up all the good leather sofa spots, the place was full of old men. Rich old men, though. I've never seen so many porsche cayennes in one place. I think M and I should go back and snag ourselves some Sugar Granddaddies.
Especially since I am now officially swearing off all men younger than myself. I had a wonderfully amusing 28-year-old puppy for a while. Met him on Superbowl Sunday and had a fun ride until his narcissism got the best of him and he cut me loose one confusing and heated Friday afternoon. Sigh. I miss him, but of course I would never actually tell him. I tried a few times to make overtures but he wound up pulling a stunt so bizarre that there's no way i could befriend him again. Unless he calls me and begs forgiveness, and then shows up with a bottle of vodka, a bottle of tonic and a lime in his teeth. ...and a take-out dinner wouldn't hurt. Currently my cupboard is bare.
These are the items in my fridge:
1 bottle Arrowhead mountain spring water
1 box of strawberries
1 carton of vanilla rice milk
1 bag of prunes (delish! try them.)
1 bottle tonic
1 bottle 7-Up
40 assorted condiments. Which of course will come sooo in handy for all the meals I CANNOT COOK.
Isn't life grand?
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Mike: mmm, prunes. They're healthful and delicious. Lots of vitamins, and of course your colon will thank you. mmm, colon.
yeah, the effexor gave me an extra chin but tells me to be happy about it, hehe. i've sworn off younger men as well. and older men. so really i've sworn off all men. figured after so many times of getting burned it was time to stop sticking my hand in the flame.
as for the things in your fridge...this shows how much i know (or don't know). i had to do a web search to figure out what half those things were! my fridge is bare except for the door with all the condiments for all the invisible food, oh and regular whole vitamin d cow milk.
love your wit!
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as for the things in your fridge...this shows how much i know (or don't know). i had to do a web search to figure out what half those things were! my fridge is bare except for the door with all the condiments for all the invisible food, oh and regular whole vitamin d cow milk.
love your wit!
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