I Am in What's Called a "Shit Cycle"
And of course, the EH is one of the world's most wonderful creatures. I wouldn't have married him otherwise, natch! He's just more of a stuffer - a thinker - and I'm completely verbal. When we hang out and talk turns to our state of affairs, I drip tears like they're going out of style, and he just sits and makes a grumpy face, holding back what he's feeling and/or what's on his mind. And of all the moments to hold back! The emotions couldn't be more raw. I'm like, let's throw down and make some decisions here! Meanwhile, he just can't...he can't... he can't...
And so I've been steeling myself for singlehood, not knowing that he was thinking hard about reconciliation. The man hasn't given me a lot to go on...but I suppose that I haven't really made any big moves in that direction, to be fair. The separation was supposed to give him time to focus on finishing his student teaching while I was supposed to experience independence, and it was supposed to give both of us a taste of "singlehood."
A friend of mine - upon hearing this latest development - said, "To me, this is too little too late. He's all freaked out now that reality is
upon him. Just as I predicted, he would be, because we men are all alike."
And of course, getting back together would mean giving up some big dreams...mystery manflesh aside.
Anyhoo, MY GOD I LOVE THIS BLOGGING SHIT. It's so cathartic. By clicking on Earlimart in my own profile I found the blog of a hilarious guy in Texas who shares not only my exquisite taste in music but a love for German engineering, expensive restaurants and sarcasm. Sometimes, kids, life is grand.
So I'm finding out what everyone is doing for Halloween, and it cracks me up. My NYC pals are readying for a parade on Sunday - basically a streetside freakshow; my PA pals are going to parties and planning costumes; my L.A. friend is going to some festival in WeHo. Meanwhile, I've got nothing on the roster, and I'm damn happy about it. For one thing, Halloween in phx happens on Friday night for the big kids (read: people under 30 who go to bars in costume). This town isn't much for the Sunday-night shindigging. We have to schedule our booze holidays so we can relegate hangovers to the weekends.
I guess I'm just not into Halloween anymore. I used to go to this insane pimp-and-ho party that would move from fabulous house to fabulous house every year. It was one of those things where if you didn't get the invite you had no clue where it could be. Very cool, considering there were always about 700 people in some gigantic, park-like backyard, swilling free booze and parading about in various states of costumery, undress and drunkenness. Ohhhh, it was such a good time! But then it was taken over by a club-owner and moved to downtown Scottsdale, so I lost interest.
And of course, the last couple of years in the house with the hubby, Halloween has been a lot of doorbell-ringing and arguing over who's going to get up from the baseball game and answer it. So not my scene. (Last year, however, we invited about a dozen friends over and set up shop in the front yard. We had a cooler of beer and a ton of candy, and spent the entire night outside getting our buzz on and taking turns manning the candy table. It was genius!)
U R FUN-E!
If only I had half the writing skills you have. this shit is so good for us.. writing.. getting out the demons! My wife said she would never be able to write stuff and have it up for all the world to see and judge.. but it doesn't work that way for me.. I get to vent, talk, converse and hopefully get someone to laugh while reading. Also, I get to abuse ellipses...
That is all for today. This being-in-charge shiz is hard!
Goodbye SHIT CYCLE, hello GENTLE SPIN!
(And I so want to say "mexorcism," but that sounds more like yakking up last night's enchiladas than laying my thoughts bare for the world to see...)