9.27.2004
Rant & Rave & Miss the Previews
I have a problem with going to the movies.
Not only is the popcorn and soda a ripoff, but instead of the movie starting at say, 8:05, the COMMERCIALS start at 8:05. Who authorized this? Like I don't get enough advertising at home? Nobody needs to watch a television commercial at the movie theater. And tv commercials are not supposed to be THAT BIG. The peanut butter cup was as big as a car. Appetizing? Not so much.
There is this fantastically fun (and spooky) sci fi book called "the merchants war" that's all about how advertising agencies take over the world and think of sinister ways to inject advertising into everyday life. i think we're living it. ...As part of my Pathetico Weekendo i watched some of The Wedding Singer and in a 5-minute section of film they mentioned Coca-cola twice and Downy once (plus a long explanation of its benefits), then later it was a big box from Sony and yech, it was too much.
Back to the theaters...I tried to see Napoleon Dynamite with The Estranged Hubby but we didn't even make it through the commercials because there were about 200 12-year-olds making a huge, annoying din and filling up the back of the house. They kept filing in - it was eerily like the one and only time we went to the dinner theater. When the buses of seniors arrived, they were dropped off at the head of the buffet line for prime rib. (They had no horseradish, btw. I suppose it was too dangerous. But lots of "honey carrots." Help.) Anyhoo, while attempting to ride out the commercials and the chaos to see ND, a theater employee had to come in and yell at them to the tune of "shut up or you will be out of here" to which she received catcalls and boos from the rug rats. We were moments away from a tween riot. Estranged hubby and i were not interested in hanging around for it so we went for a drink at Phoenix's best dive bar. It will remain unnamed here, because it's too good to share. See how I am? Okay, it's called the Swizzle Inn and it's genius.
And top finish the movie rant, let's be honest about Garden State, shall we? First of all, it was overwrought and underwritten. God bless Zach Braff for being original, but did everyone have to be sooooo quirky? There were, however, some genius moments (love it when the arrow lands at natalie portman's feet and she pulls her ear). But - ugh - when they first meet - and she's all "i'm crazy, see?" and he's all "i am depressed - repeat - i am depressed" and he goes "what are you listening to" and she says "The Shins" ... oh, i almost walked right out. I LOVE THE SHINS - they are so happy-making - and it was heartbreaking to see them exposed and sullied like that in such a contrived moment. ugh. Plus Ms. Portman looks like she's ELEVEN and her freaky miniature body was too much for me. When he took her to the bar i found it hysterically funny. They should have had a scene where the bartender doesn't believe she's old enough to drink.
Not only is the popcorn and soda a ripoff, but instead of the movie starting at say, 8:05, the COMMERCIALS start at 8:05. Who authorized this? Like I don't get enough advertising at home? Nobody needs to watch a television commercial at the movie theater. And tv commercials are not supposed to be THAT BIG. The peanut butter cup was as big as a car. Appetizing? Not so much.
There is this fantastically fun (and spooky) sci fi book called "the merchants war" that's all about how advertising agencies take over the world and think of sinister ways to inject advertising into everyday life. i think we're living it. ...As part of my Pathetico Weekendo i watched some of The Wedding Singer and in a 5-minute section of film they mentioned Coca-cola twice and Downy once (plus a long explanation of its benefits), then later it was a big box from Sony and yech, it was too much.
Back to the theaters...I tried to see Napoleon Dynamite with The Estranged Hubby but we didn't even make it through the commercials because there were about 200 12-year-olds making a huge, annoying din and filling up the back of the house. They kept filing in - it was eerily like the one and only time we went to the dinner theater. When the buses of seniors arrived, they were dropped off at the head of the buffet line for prime rib. (They had no horseradish, btw. I suppose it was too dangerous. But lots of "honey carrots." Help.) Anyhoo, while attempting to ride out the commercials and the chaos to see ND, a theater employee had to come in and yell at them to the tune of "shut up or you will be out of here" to which she received catcalls and boos from the rug rats. We were moments away from a tween riot. Estranged hubby and i were not interested in hanging around for it so we went for a drink at Phoenix's best dive bar. It will remain unnamed here, because it's too good to share. See how I am? Okay, it's called the Swizzle Inn and it's genius.
And top finish the movie rant, let's be honest about Garden State, shall we? First of all, it was overwrought and underwritten. God bless Zach Braff for being original, but did everyone have to be sooooo quirky? There were, however, some genius moments (love it when the arrow lands at natalie portman's feet and she pulls her ear). But - ugh - when they first meet - and she's all "i'm crazy, see?" and he's all "i am depressed - repeat - i am depressed" and he goes "what are you listening to" and she says "The Shins" ... oh, i almost walked right out. I LOVE THE SHINS - they are so happy-making - and it was heartbreaking to see them exposed and sullied like that in such a contrived moment. ugh. Plus Ms. Portman looks like she's ELEVEN and her freaky miniature body was too much for me. When he took her to the bar i found it hysterically funny. They should have had a scene where the bartender doesn't believe she's old enough to drink.
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"In other news...a blog fan was killed today when the post he was riding in hit a wall and he was thrown clear. The victim was traveling Northeast on Alisa Street when the post suddenly veered sharply and struck a brick wall just south of the Swizzle Inn. Witnesses reported seeing a large box truck with the phrase 'Garden State Bashing Co.' on the side fleeing the scene. Now over to you Kurt for the weather."
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